I am participating in Niki’s, The Richness of a Simple Life, seven week Kindness Challenge. What follow is Niki’s reflection to follow for week one:
Kindness Challenge: Week 1 Focus- Self kindness
MAY 9, 2016 ~ NIKI
Attention all 2016 Kindness Challenge Participants!
“Have you ever heard of the saying that “you have to love yourself before others can love you“? You have to love and accept yourself for who you are before you can expect for someone else to do so. Part of loving yourself is being kind to yourself. Do you ever find yourself being nicer to others than you are to yourself? Do you think things that if said out loud would make you cringe? Are you too hard on yourself? Too critical? Are your expectations too high? This week the focus is on being kind and gentle with yourself so that you can extend that kindness towards others. How can you treat others the way you want to be treated if you don’t treat yourself that way?”
When I signed on for this challenge I didn’t expect it to start out this way. I signed on because I had become so saddened by the meanness of the rhetoric I was hearing all around me from every forum imaginable. But kindness to myself? Surely I had reached an age of maturity when I didn’t beat myself up over shortcoming anymore?
Well, this week taught me I could throw that smug observation out the window. I have had to face an uncomfortable fact about myself this week. This fact totally shocked me. It has rocked my whole idea of who I am and what I am capable of dealing with in my life. My initial reaction to this news was denial. But there didn’t seem to be any way to keep denying the situation so I moved on to a very, very reluctant acceptance. My next instinct was to beat myself up. I started down that road and then remembered the advise from this challenge.
If someone else told me this story, I would be kind to them. I would support them. I would tell them their expectations for taking care of everyone’s problems and not ending up with a problem of your own was unrealistic.
So, I decided to be a friend to myself.
So thank you NiKi for this challenge. It is funny how the teacher comes when the student is ready.
I was flat on my back sick this week with nothing to interfere with reflecting about people, places and things. Like most people I have learned to live with regrets. I push them into the corners of a dark closet in my mind and hope they become like that lost baseball cap that you could never figure out where it got to. One of the regrets worked its way to the front of the closet and rudely knocked on the closet door and demanded some attention. At the same time, the teacher arrived in my life. The teacher gave me a lesson I didn’t want but I certainly did need.
So this week the regret has been pulled out of the dark corner of the closet and Chapter 1 of the lesson has been lovingly completed.
One of the blogs I follow is http://www.wakeupandwrite.com. This morning’s post was about 5 women getting together to share an evening and their thoughts by using aHearthstones.
From what I read each woman pulls a tablet from the bag and reflects on the word written on the tablet.
It seems like a delightful way to spend an evening with your women friends. I am fortunate to have some very wonderful women friends and to have had some very meaningful conversations with them.
But, as crazy as it may seem, the older we get, the busier we are, and when we get together the conversation usually is about catching up with each other’s lives. I really enjoy being included in these women’s lives and look forward to sharing with them what is happening in my life. But I was struck by the thought that it would be so very nice to have the time to delve deeper into our relationships by spending an evening sharing thoughts and reflections.
Perhaps if I find out where to get at set of Hearthstones for myself, I will try to start a monthly date with my special group. I am sure it would be meaningful for all of us.
“THE UNEXAMINED LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING.” SOCRATES
Today’s assignment for Blogging 101 is to spend some time identifying who are my readers and what readers I wish to reach.
Since I write to understand my life and things that happen in my life and events that happen in the lives of my friends and family, I essentially write for myself. But I want the feedback of readers in order to amplify my understanding of life and the ironies of life. In other words to provide another perspective on my own thinking.
So, the answer to the above questions would be that I would like to reach readers who think self examination of your life is a habit worth developing.
A good example is of writing that contains self reflection is a blog that was posted today by Leigh Ann, ADAYINTHELIFE.BLOGSPOT.COM. Leigh Ann reflected about how she wanted to be remembered as a teacher. But when I read the blog it made me think about how I would like to be remembered as a person.