52 WEEKS OF THANKFULNESS – WEEK 39

52weekw

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

I invite you to come and join me on this pilgrimage to change the world through thankfulness.  Perhaps if enough of us join together we can change the negative climate that exists and is overtaking our planet. Together we can move our fellow citizens of to a better, higher and finer place.

This week my son, Andrew, will turn 41.  Andrew has lived in a health care facility for the better part of the last 15 years.  He is a quadriplegic and has a major brain injury that causes him to be unable to communicate his needs or desires.

For the last 15 years Dom and I have visited Andrew weekly bringing him a nonnutrious lunch filled with all the junk food you do not get a health care facility.

When I went to see Andrew on Saturday I found him unable to eat or drink and mostly unresponsive to stimulus.  This week is always difficult for our family because his birthday.  To find Andrew in such condition, I am afraid, pushed me over the edge to grief and tears.

I am thankful for the loving health care workers who recognized my pain and did everything in their power to try to alleviate it.  I am thankful for their concern and care for not only Andrew but our family.

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Missing Andrew

charliebrown

It is a heartbreaking experience to miss someone while they are alive.

andrew

Andrew in 2002

 andrew-2016

ANDREW IN 2016

Thanks to all of you who never forget and support Andrew and our family while we are walking this path.

bernadette

ANDREW LAGANELLA

Thirteen years ago the Andrew I knew and loved stopped existing.  In his place I was given a new Andrew who I also love very much.

Many of you follow me because of Andrew and I know would like to have news of him. So, today for the first time in 13 years, I am posting a picture of him.

andrew 2015

As you can see, there is still that certain Andrew smile and spark in existence. I hope you can get past the sadness and probably horror this picture makes you feel and really look at the smile on his face.  If you ever have a minute, please stop in and visit him.  When I mention his friend’s names, his face lights up.

Mrs. Lag

CELEBRATION – MY SON

MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTE TO GOD.
MY WEEKLY THANK YOU NOTE TO GOD.

Thirteen years ago, my son, Andrew, walked out my door never to return.  In those thirteen years I have had to struggle with an avalanche of emotions.

One of the hardest acts for me is to accept the new Andrew.  I spent so much of the last 13 years not accepting this tragedy and denying that I was left with a new person.

The anniversary of losing the first Andrew is October 12.  This past week when I visited Andrew, I saw that someone had taken this picture of him –

andrew 2015

Usually, I take these pictures and rip them up.  When I destroy those pictures on some level I am destroying the evidence of my loss.

This is the first time I have saved a picture of him and posted it.  I am celebrating this because I think I may have turned a corner and I am walking into the comforting arms of acceptance.

Thanks for listening,

Bernadette