FEMINIST FRIDAY – Celebrating Ginny

“We can have feminist icons, but the real heroines are just quietly doing what is needed”  Osyth

 

Thirty eight years ago when my oldest son started kindergarten, I met a group of women who have become my lifelong friends and companions on this journey of life.  One of these women is my dear friend, Ginny.

Ginny was the driving force that made possible these lifelong friendships.  When our children were in the eighth grade and soon to go all different high schools, Ginny put together our lunch group.  For 30 years we have gotten together once a month to laugh and cry and to keep in touch with each others lives. During those 30 years our group suffered enormous losses.  We lost husbands, children and friends.  We were the very best medicine for each other.   Because after each tragedy, we taught each other the lesson that it was alright to continue to laugh and live.   We could not and would not have stayed together except for Ginny.  She kept in touch with all of us and made sure that we met once a month to celebrate someone’s birthday.  She  had many troubles in her life but she always remained optimistic and no matter what was going on in her life would be concerned about my life.  She was our fearless and much loved lunch leader.

My dear, brave friend lost her battle to cancer last week.  She leaves a hole in my life that cannot be filled.  I will forever miss hearing her say,   “And how are you honey and where do you think we should meet for lunch.”  The following quote from Audrey Hepburn was Ginny’s credo:  “THE BEST THING TO HOLD ONTO IN THIS LIFE IS EACH OTHER.”  

GINNY YOU ROCK!

 

Please feel free to share in the comments section a link to a story about an inspiring woman in your life.

MUSINGS

“THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO CRITICIZE YOU,

DON’T LET IT BE YOU.”

 

How do you build your self-esteem?

FEMINIST FRIDAY

 

 

The age old story of older women being crones and treating younger women horribly, or even trying to delete them permanently, such as the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty, is very ingrained in our culture.  This story has morphed into the mean mother-in-law who hates her daughter-in-law for stealing away her young, handsome son.

I really haven’t found this to be true.  My personal experience and the experiences of my friends has led me to be perplexed as to why this false myth is so easily accepted.   And as a woman it causes me to be angered that such an image goes unchallenged.

So, to celebrate Mother’s Day I am sharing this updated letter I wrote several years ago to my dear daughter in law Hillary.  I invite you to share a post about a woman whose friendship is dear to you.

Dear Hillary,

When I gave David your telephone number without ever having met you, I didn’t think about the future. I just wanted him to meet a nice, smart gal and from your Dad’s description you fit the bill. Little did I know what happy forces I was unleashing into the universe that day.

Now that you have a son of your own, you have experienced love at first sight. You are starting to realize the very special bond between a Mom and her son. No one, not even your husband, is ever going to look at you with such complete adoration. Sons think we hung the moon and the stars in the heavens just for them. And wait until Lucas gets older and his friends start hanging around. They will awkwardly flirt with you and you will laugh and feel so young. It is very difficult to be a good mother and let that relationship transform. It is so very difficult to say to yourself another woman is now responsible for handing the moon and the stars. Although, truth to be told, there are moments when David is being difficult, I say to myself, “Well, thank you Lord, he isn’t my problem any more.”

David and I were so very close when he was growing up. His intellect is so razor sharp that we could debate and talk about everything under the sun. He confided his hopes, ambitions and misgivings. No wonder when he left for college, I went to bed a cried.

I wanted so much for David but most of all I wanted him to be happy. I am so grateful for that phone call. David has a woman for this part of his life that loves him with the same intensity that I do. You have brought to David and opened in our family a new vein rich in love. Watching you recently with Lucas and David, Dom and I agreed that it gives us peace knowing what an incomparable mother and wife will be taking care of our “boys” when we pass.

I have been so grateful that you have become my friend and confidant. I so hoped in my heart when you and David were married that we would one day become friends, that is why I told you to call me Bernadette and not the mandatory Mom. I wanted you to see me for the person I am and not David’s Mom.

Little did I know when I wrote the above words how your importance to our family would grow.  I have watched you make many many sacrifices out of love for David and your family.  You are a very special mother and my love and respect for you has grown over the last several years.  I am grateful to have you in my life as my much loved friend and cherished family member.

Bernadette

WOMEN ROCK!

 

 

l

 

 

 

THOUGHTS ON THURSDAY

Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live.  Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.

We are so accustomed to hearing these words spoken at a marriage ceremony, that I don’t think many of us stop to ponder that this pledge was made by a daughter-in-law (Ruth) to a mother-in-law (Naomi).

It is a beautiful book in the Bible written about the love between two women and their resourcefulness in overcoming adversity.

If you have had times in your life when the love and friendship of women have helped you not just to survive but thrive, I invite you to link your story to Feminist Friday to celebrate all women on Sunday.

Wishing you times spent with cherished women friends family,

Bernadette

A SLIPPERY SLOPE – #WRITEPHOTO

 

cracked-ice

 

A SLIPPERY SLOPE

Life is a slippery slope

so they say.

The nearer your destination

they more you slip slide away.

(Apologies to Paul Simon)

bernadette

This post is written to a photo prompt.  The above prompt can be found at: Thursday photo prompt – Cracked Ice – #writephoto, at svincent.com.

writephoto

SOME DAYS….

cefalu

CEFALU, SICILY

Some Days
by Philip Terman

Some days you have to turn off the news
and listen to the bird or truck
or the neighbor screaming out her life.
You have to close all the books and open
all the windows so that whatever swirls
inside can leave and whatever flutters
against the glass can enter. Some days
you have to unplug the phone and step
out to the porch and rock all afternoon
and allow the sun to tell you what to do.
The whole day has to lie ahead of you
like railroad tracks that drift off into gravel.
Some days you have to walk down the wooden
staircase through the evening fog to the river,
where the peach roses are closing,
sit on the grassy bank and wait for the two geese.

Thanks for taking the time to read,

bernadette

TWILIGHT – THREE DAY QUOTE CHALLENGE

My friend Clive over at Take It Easy, http://cliveblogs.wordpress.com, has invited me to participate in a three day quote challenge. Here is day 3 for your consideration.

We are deep into the moody twilight of autumn here in New Jersey. A time of the day that is filled with the hoot of the owl, the smell of a fire and a time for love and cuddling.

old_lovers_in_the_night_by_mr_piapia-d6znslb

Twilight Time by the Platters always turns my thoughts to romance:

“Heavenly shades of night are falling, it’s twilight time
Out of the mist your voice is calling, ’tis twilight time
When purple-colored curtains mark the end of day
I’ll hear you, my dear, at twilight time

Deepening shadows gather splendor as day is done
Fingers of night will soon surrender the setting sun
I count the moments darling till you’re here with me
Together at last at twilight time

Here, in the afterglow of day, we keep our rendezvous beneath the blue
And, in the same and sweet old way I fall in love again as I did then

Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me like days of old
Lighting the spark of love that fills me with dreams untold
Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together at last at twilight time

Here, in the afterglow of day, we keep our rendezvous beneath the blue
And, in the same and sweet old way I fall in love again as I did then

Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me like days of old
Lighting the spark of love that fills me with dreams untold
Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together at last at twilight time
Together at last at twilight time”

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU DOM♥️

TWILIGHT – THREE DAY QUOTE CHALLENGE

My friend Clive over at Take It Easy, http://cliveblogs.wordpress.com, has invited me to participate in a three day quote challenge.  Here is day 2 for your consideration.

We are deep into the moody twilight of autumn here in New Jersey. A time of the day that is filled with the hoot of the owl, the smell of a fire and  a time for melancholy reflection.

sounds-of-silence

The Sound Of Silence  by Paul Simon is for the very expression of moody reflection.

“Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence”

Thanks for taking the time to stop by,

bernadette

Image from pcwallart.com

TWILIGHT – THREE DAY QUOTE CHALLENGE

My friend Clive over at Take It Easy, http://cliveblogs.wordpress.com, has invited me to participate in a three day quote challenge.

We are deep into the moody twilight of autumn here in New Jersey.  A time of the day that is filled with the hoot of the owl, the smell of a fire and the sounds of children calling to each other as they scurry home.

night-autumn-park-lamps-light-twilight-bridge-bench-lamps-tree-autumn

The first stanza of the Children’s Hour by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow always put me in mind to this particular time of the day:

“Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day’s occupations,
That is known as the Children’s Hour.”

Thanks for taking the time to stop by,

bernadette

Missing Andrew

charliebrown

It is a heartbreaking experience to miss someone while they are alive.

andrew

Andrew in 2002

 andrew-2016

ANDREW IN 2016

Thanks to all of you who never forget and support Andrew and our family while we are walking this path.

bernadette