On Friday, January 20, 2017, we lost one of the best First Ladies I have been privileged to watch.  She was an outstanding example of how to balance many different roles and be the very best at all of them.  The following is a love letter to Michelle Obama written by Rashida Jones.  It says it all.

By Rashida Jones:

The first time I met Michelle Obama was at the White House as part of a mentoring initiative, for which the first lady had brought together a dynamic group of women to speak to urban teenage girls about their career goals. Olympians, actresses, producers, writers, an astronaut and an Air Force general gathered in the West Wing to greet Michelle before we headed out to various local schools. She was warm, gracious and charming. She thanked us for coming, hugged everybody and made us all feel like her friends. As first lady, she has ticked all the boxes: loving wife, protective mother, health and fitness advocate, garden enthusiast and, yes, style icon. These accomplishments have left traditionalists feeling satisfied.
But, as is always the way, her reputation as the perfect hostess invited criticism from progressives. Enter Michelle Obama, outspoken activist, a woman who isn’t afraid to remind us she is a proud African-American woman, which is, in itself, revolutionary. A former lawyer who speaks out on behalf of gay rights and gun control, she delivered an unforgettable speech at the Democratic National Convention earlier this year, shining a clear, bright light on our country’s shameful history. Suddenly, the progressives were pleased and the traditionalists were confused. The media wants to pin her down — they’ve been trying since Barack Obama took office in 2009. But you simply can’t.

Michelle Obama embodies the modern, American woman, and I don’t mean that in any platitudinous or vague way. Rarely can someone express their many identities at the same time while seeming authentic. My female friends and I often talk about feeling like we’re “too much.” We’re complicated; we want to be so many things. I want to be a boss and also be vulnerable. I want to be outspoken and respected, but also sexy and beautiful.

All women struggle to reconcile the different people that we are at all times, to merge our conflicting desires, to represent ourselves honestly and feel good about the inherent contradictions. But Michelle manages to do this with poise, regardless of the scrutiny. That, to me, is the best thing for feminism. Her individual choices force us to accept that being a woman isn’t just one thing. Or two things. Or three things. The position of first lady is, unfortunately, symbolic, and that makes it fair game for media analysis ad nauseam. But no think piece can fully encompass a real woman.

If feminism’s goal is equal opportunity and choice, Michelle makes me feel like every choice is available. You can go to Princeton and Harvard, you can rap with Missy Elliott, you can be a mother and a lawyer and a powerful orator. You can champion the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, while also caring about fashion. You can dance with Ellen and also fearlessly remind people, on live television, of the reality of your position: “I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women, playing with their dogs on the White House lawn.” You can be your husband’s partner and supporter, and also use your cultural and political capital to campaign for Hillary Clinton, unflinchingly standing up to her “locker room talk”-ing bully of an opponent with the battle cry “enough is enough!” — eloquently putting into words what a lot of people, myself included, had been feeling.

Michelle Obama will have her own legacy, separate from her husband’s. And it will be that she was the first first lady to show women that they don’t have to choose. That it’s okay to be everything.



Rashida Jones is a writer, actress and producer.

I invite you to share a story about an inspiring woman in the comments section.  Just leave us a link to your post.  We can never read too many stories about inspiring women.


About Bernadette

I live in the small town of Haddonfield, NJ. I am at an age in my life when I seem to spend time thinking and musing about life. These musings are usually stimulated by my walks through Haddonfield, my reading of books and fellow bloggers, and my interaction with my group of fabulous family and friends.

21 Responses

  1. Michelle Obama is a class act and this was a lovely – if bittersweet – tribute. Thanks for posting.

    And next up . . . McDonald and his Playboy Bunny. It seems from here like the end of an era and a return to McCarthyism. Tough to believe that anyone who would marry a man who is so disrespectful of women has feminism IN her, but miracles do happen, and everyone wakes up eventually, if only on their deathbeds. Perhaps she will grow into her power in the role of First Lady and can, somehow, some way, temper her husband’s impulsivity, broaden his perspective, and help him grow up too.

    I pray for America and hope that the 1% contingent riding McD’s coattails won’t encourage him undo everything the Obama’s represent.

    The voices of feminists have never been more needed. God help us ALL.

    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have been so impressed with Michelle Obama from day one, and my praise has only deepened over time. She was ignored so much by the media – a true disgrace – and over time, I think more will be written about her incredible intellect, grace, feminism, and humanism. I hope so. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As a Brit, I have never paid much attention to US First Ladies, I was especially put off by the phoney competition forced on Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush in the Cookie Wars, but Michelle Obama grabbed my attention from the beginning and yes, she will be sorely missed. Like other commenters though, I am sure she will not just disappear and hopefully with the freedom of ‘ordinary’ citizenship she will be able to have even more influence and achieve ever more important advances in all the areas she is passionate about. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. She was, and remains a terrible loss … my hope is that she will resurface and my wish that she, herself, might consider running for The Whitehouse. Never has a country been more in need of the good sense, intelligence, compassion and humour that she consistently demonstrated as First Lady. And I’m pretty sure her husband would be quite happy to be ‘First Man’ to the woman he has always declared is far smarter than he. Thank you for the reminder, though I read it with a rather heavy heart ❣️

    Liked by 2 people


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