
My Dear Writing Teachers,
I have followed your award winning blog for several years with great interest. Now I have observed as a driver of a motor vehicle and as a passenger that the adult members of our society are sorely lacking in the use of descriptive adjectives and have sunk to using one word expletives to explain their range of emotions in all manner of difficulties while maneuvering their cars. I humbly offer, this morning, a suggestion for a continuing education course for adults to enrich said vocabulary.
I think the course should be called THE ART OF THE CURSE.
Imagine if someone was driving 35 miles an hour in the center lane of a superhighway, how much more satisfying it would be to say, “May the carapace of your car turn into a dark green shell and the four tires into four leathery little legs to match the speed at which you progress.”
Or how about this one, the person who feels their time is so much more important than yours and cuts you off to get into line ahead of you in a traffic jamb – “In the early morning hours of the day you have your big meeting may the gods of justice visit your car and destroy your starter.”
Just a few humble suggestions. Imagine how much more colorful and erudite our commute would be if we increased said vocabulary. Also, personally, I find the idea of placing a curse very satisfying. Come here my pretties, don’t be afraid….
I wrote this post at the prompting of my friend and excellent writer, Stevie Turner, https://steviet3.wordpress.com/2016/01/18/open-book-blog-hop-january-18th-24th-2016/ for the
Open Book Blog Hop – January 18th – 24th 2016.
Hope you enjoyed,
Bernadette
A modicum of wit is so much better than a string of expletives!
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I try very hard,,but I am know to drop the occasional f-bomb 😬
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With all your creativity, I know you can do better than that.
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HAHA,,,,sometime they just fly pass the lips before I can reel ’em back in!!!
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Remind me never to get on your wrong side 😊
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Ha! I love this post! I’m always muttering under my breath at other drivers! 🙂
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Wouldn’t the description of emotion change based on the content of the story? I mean we can’t always use description, can we?
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Absolutely.
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A laugh out loud moment that pulled notebook from hiding place.
PS. To the person in the chic café where I patiently wait my turn.
He who clicked his fingers to the waitress (before he sat fully at a table) and muttered to others who looked on.
“May your macaroons turn to sawdust inside your mealy mouth and your fingers become plasticine, thus rendering you incapable of delivering the waitress *click*”
Nuf said!
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Great one. We will have to add it to the curriculum.
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Hysterical! I’ll keep this in mind as I maneuver to work this morning. Special thoughts and words for those people who believe they are the center of the universe. Here’s to the Gods of Justice!
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Love this! Wouldn’t it be fun to have students come up with some creative retaliations to things that irk them? I could envision a book of them being published.
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You my friend are just the man for the job with your quick wit.
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One of our drama teachers used to teach the students Shakespeare’s curses & they loved them, used them. This elevates our commute time to a new high! I looked some up: from Henry IV: ““You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” to those who would drive up the blocked lane, then expect to be let in!
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Love them. Imagine calling someone a scullion.
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Exactly. The current state of swearing in the US is a result of a lack of imagination and a desire to offend people.
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This is hilarious! These would be much better and classier than what sometimes slips out.
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Enjoyed this! So true.
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The next time I am vexed, I will have to remember your cursing post. This was quite a delightful read!
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Oh, I so enjoyed this!
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You are such a hoot!
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Thank you😊
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Hahaha love this Bernadette, very entertaining! Will try that next time!
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