This was a post that I wrote yesterday for Blogging 101. The lesson was to write a post from a prompt.
This prompt struck me because most feminist (and I count myself in that category) would say that clothes absolutely do not make the woman. But I want to take a different point of view by sharing a story…..
Thirteen years ago my son sustained a massive brain injury. My husband and I received the telephone call that you never want to get. “This is the NYPD. We have your son in the Emergency Room. He is unconscious. Please come immediately.”
My life left its very ordinary road and took a nightmarish path. Part of what helped me go out and face the world everyday after my world tipped on it’s axis, was the act of selecting clothes to wear, applying my makeup and styling my hair. Just doing these three things for a half an hour or so everyday made me feel connected to the rest of the world and helped me forget for a brief time the nightmare I was living.
So for me, I would never underestimate the value of personal style because for a while my clothes did make this woman at least appear sane.
Bernadette
I agree with you Bernadette. The simple act of dressing, putting on shoes, hair and make-up make a
difference sometimes. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. Xxx.
LikeLike
We often do find that having some mundane things to do, to distract us from reality is ‘a good thing’… Diane
LikeLike
The
The line about your life leaving its ordinary road for a nightmarish path was striking. I am so sorry that your son had that injury. I agree that anything promotes a feeling of normalcy, like clothes, is a good thing in times of crisis.
LikeLike
I had never thought it this way, but what you say, makes so much sense. Might be good advice for as well!
LikeLike
This is such a powerful slice. Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your son’s accident. What a powerful reflection about how going through familiar routines helped you plow through such an excruciating time.
LikeLike
I had a similar conversation with a friend about makeup. I like to go out in public with my “game face”, as I call being made up. When I went through a period of depression in my early thirties, I was too low to even do that. I knew I was feeling better when my urge to wear makeup came back. Clothes and makeup can truly be an act of self-care, as you wrote. I’m glad you were able to find those moments of calm and control in that awful time.
LikeLike
There in great comfort in doin routine and mundane things. Sometimes this is all that keeps us sane during trying times.
LikeLike
A friend has a moto, “Fake it ’till you make it.” I think some days, when life is too much, we have to fake it to get to the next day. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
What a wise and insightful reflection.
LikeLike
I’m thinking of your son…and your courage.
LikeLike
Having control over the tiny things sometimes gets us through those things we have zero control over. I’m glad this little piece of control helped you through such a massively uncontrollable and stressful time.
LikeLike
Absolutely! In difficult times the little daily norms can make all the difference.
I want to offer too, Bernadette, that I believe feminism involves a woman living as SHE wants to live. I think women’s culture, something that as a professional I am asked to move away from if I want to be seen as credible, is a shear joy. I enjoy “troubles talk,” the use of hedges, hesitations, intensifiers, tag questions, etc., all of which have been labeled as women’s language. I also enjoy mothering and most other things considered feminine in my culture. It dawns on me that I should be equally allowed to choose to enjoy feminine culture, if that is my wish, even if my understanding of the culture involved my socialization process within a male dominated culture. In short, we should not have to cut off our arm, so to speak, to follow feminism. The right to choose for one’s self involves power. Anyway, just a thought that sprung up in my mind :0)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I absolutely am in agreement with your comment. Feminism is about choice and respect – self respect, respect for other men and women, respect for other opinions.
LikeLiked by 1 person